Friday, October 3, 2008

Do Nothing, can I?

I don't get dreams of scolding my maid these days. But I still have voices in my head every now n then of things i want to instruct her but never get out of my mouth. I want to tell her this n that. do it this way n that way. However I know it will be a waisted effort. She will be going in one month's time. Furthermore I cannot stand anymore black face. How can i not let this negative energy affects me? 

She cont. to have a grumpy outlook and black face, regardless of my above effort. That puts me off. and i wonder what else can i do?! Perhaps I can do nothing. What should I do to counter this negative vibes? To care? I don't have that much of metta (loving kindness). Currently I actually just give up. I don't want to ask or know what she does. Just hoping that my new maid can come sooner and I can start a fresh chapter. But it seems I can't run away like this. I indeed cannot -ignore of what she is doing. as much as i wish it can reduce me suffering. I really have to find ways to deal with it. to deal with my weaknesses in such area.

Dear Buddha, the mightly dhamma teaching, can u show me the way? 

1 comment:

mummy-M said...

You are not alone in this. We often have alot of things pent up inside our hearts & minds unable to openly communicate / express.

I suffer same fate sometimes with inlaws.

Hang in there. Sometimes we feel it more when our hormones are playing up on us. I felt rather daunted when I woke up this morning thinking.. gosh.. I have to scratch my head, what to cook for the family. Then half of me also thinking, why bother to think too much, mil will in the end determine the menu.

Then what does that make me? Like a puppet only OR Like a "thou thai" learning from "Si Fu"?

There is always 2 ways at looking at a situation/issue.

Hope you find yours.