Friday, October 3, 2008

Do Nothing, can I?

I don't get dreams of scolding my maid these days. But I still have voices in my head every now n then of things i want to instruct her but never get out of my mouth. I want to tell her this n that. do it this way n that way. However I know it will be a waisted effort. She will be going in one month's time. Furthermore I cannot stand anymore black face. How can i not let this negative energy affects me? 

She cont. to have a grumpy outlook and black face, regardless of my above effort. That puts me off. and i wonder what else can i do?! Perhaps I can do nothing. What should I do to counter this negative vibes? To care? I don't have that much of metta (loving kindness). Currently I actually just give up. I don't want to ask or know what she does. Just hoping that my new maid can come sooner and I can start a fresh chapter. But it seems I can't run away like this. I indeed cannot -ignore of what she is doing. as much as i wish it can reduce me suffering. I really have to find ways to deal with it. to deal with my weaknesses in such area.

Dear Buddha, the mightly dhamma teaching, can u show me the way?